Dolphins Get Horny, Too
The marine mammals share quite a bit in common with humans when it comes to sex.
By Allyson Larcom
In recent odd news, a horny dolphin off the coast of France forced an entire beach to ban swimming for the rest of the season.
You read that right.
The local dolphin, dubbed Zafar by beachgoers, was reportedly in-heat and would spend his days dry-humping kayaks and attempting to rub up against swimmers with "his pink penis” that was “about 20-centimeters, [and] often erect," Vice reports.
The town’s mayor warned people to stay at least 150 feet away from Zafar for safety’s sake, lest the dolphin unintentionally drowned someone by getting too excited.
Surprisingly, this is not the first time a horny dolphin has caused problems for human beings. In 2002, a dolphin named Georges terrorized the town of Weymouth, England, by isolating female swimmers and then trying to mate with them.
In 2012, a dolphin called Stinky kept attempting to hump scuba divers in the Cayman Islands.
And just earlier this year, a dolphin at a marine park in Cuba leapt out of the water in an attempt to get it on with a female visitor.
Like humans, dolphins can feel horny — but we share more in common with them than just that. In fact, dolphin sexuality and sexual behavior is remarkably similar to our own.
Male dolphins masturbate
They possess prehensile penises that they can move and operate like an arm. Usually, instead of humping kayaks or swimmers, they grab live, wriggling eels or dead fish, wrapping them around their penises to masturbate with.
Dolphins can be gay
Studies show that many male dolphins engage in gay sex acts when they are young (although the oft-discussed “blowhole sex” seems to be a myth). As they approach adulthood and, inevitably, procreation, they transition to being bisexual.
Male dolphins also often use the male dolphins they mated with as youngsters to act as wingmen for them when looking for female mates in their later years.
Richard Connor, a professor of biology at the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth, told the Huffington Post in no uncertain terms that dolphins engage in “bisexuality, combined with exclusive periods of homosexuality.”
Dolphins sex is kinky, literally
Dolphin sex takes place under daunting conditions. The marine mammals must contend with the ocean’s ever-moving currents when they “do the deed,” and to become pregnant, there must be no sea water leakage into the female’s uterus.
Adding to this, dolphin vaginas are incredibly oddly shaped, having unusual twists and folds that make it a challenge for a male dolphin to find his way in. Even if he’s able to get inside, the vagina’s deep folds and spirals can prohibit the sperm from reaching the uterus, making sex, as well as fertilization, extra challenging.
Dolphins can sexually assault one another.
Although humans don’t know exactly what’s going on in dolphins’ minds, one of their behaviors looks a lot like rape. It typically involves either a lone male dolphin or a group of five or six that gang up on a female, aggressively corralling her away and using force, like tail bashing, head-butting, biting, and body-slamming, to restrain her.
When Allyson Larcom not writing about weird stuff, you can find her fawning over dogs, podcasting about cats, or teaching herself obscure languages.
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