Practicing Self-Care With “You Feel Like Shit”

An online survey gently reminds us to take care of ourselves with simple, yet effective solutions.

By Lara McCaffrey

Ask yourself: How am I feeling right now? (Art: Maria Karambatsakis)

With the pandemic levels of novel coronavirus, it’s safe to say that the entire world isn’t feeling at ease right now. Those who suffer from depression and anxiety might especially feel triggered by the mandated self-quarantining and the lack of toilet paper at Target.

Fortunately, there’s an online survey that can help. “You Feel Like Shit” is an interactive self-care check-in with questions and solutions that relate to your mental and physical well being.

For those not suffering from a mental health emergency, this might be the next best free option if you can’t get to a therapist.

Not necessarily created for these virus-tainted times, “You Feel Like Shit” was originally launched around September 2015 by writer Jace Harr and later adapted into an interactive flowchart — complete with poop emojis — by designer Amanda Miklik. 

Its main focus is on self-care — a practice that is often confused with self-indulgence — but which is anything but. Taking the time to tend to one’s mental, emotional, and physical needs — basically helping yourself feel good — is a lot different from say, going shopping or getting your nails done. 

And especially in days like these, when many of us are stuck in our homes, this survey can be a guiding light to help us stay sane and prevent cabin fever.

“You Feel Like Shit’s” homepage states it is useful for “people who struggle with self-care, executive dysfunction, and/or reading internal signals.” The goal of it is to find out why you “feel like shit” by running through various suggestions to address physical, emotional, and mental discomfort. If you feel better after following just one piece of “You Feel Like Shit’s” advice, it’s done its job.

“You Feel Like Shit” has been a free internet resource since 2015. (Art: Zootghost)

As you click through the 20-plus questions, you are first prompted with queries about your physical comfort, like “Have you eaten in the last four hours?” and “Can you take a guess at how many hours you've slept out of the last 24?” You can select yes or no answers, which correspond to different self-care related solutions that are designed to be easy to implement and free of judgement. 

If you select “No, I need a meal” to the “Have you eaten?” question, you’re prompted to a page that encourages you to eat whatever it is that you want.

“Just also use your brain a little, and notice the quantity you're eating, and how healthy it is for you,” it says.

After scanning your physical comfort, you’ll move onto the part of the survey that deals with your emotional comfort. There are questions like “Do you know why you're in a bad mood, or not feeling well emotionally? (Remember, any answer is okay!)” and “Is something about your environment distressing or uncomfortable?”

The key with “You Feel Like Shit” is that it doesn’t just ask you questions, it also tells you to do things — things that when you do them, will help you feel better. Depending on how you answer the prompts, it might suggest drinking a glass of water, spending five minutes cleaning up, taking a shower, wrapping up in a blanket, or taking a “mindful” walk as a solution to your negative feelings.

If you answer that you’re feeling anxious, the survey will instruct you to be proactive: “Set a timer for 15 minutes and do something to take care of that worry.”

“You Feel Like Shit” is also complex enough to understand that not every suggestion they offer will work for every person or on every feeling.

If setting a timer for 15 minutes isn’t enough to de-escalate your anxiety, it will display a dozen other “grounding exercises” that might improve your wellbeing. Some of them include: “Take deep, calm breaths,” “Write in a journal,” “Splash water on your face,” and “Make tea. Feel the warmth of it in your hands and the taste as you sip it calmly.” 

An important distinction between “You Feel Like Shit” and commodified versions of self-care is that it isn’t self-soothing. There are no advertisements on the website, no social media pushes to draw in users or get press for it. You’re not being told to buy sheet masks for your butt or a $75 “vagina-scented” candle to balance your female energies.

“You Feel Like Shit” seems to exist solely for the purpose of helping others — and it doesn’t ask for anything in return but your improved well-being. 

It’s true “self-care,” unlike what’s typically marketed to consumers using that term.

“Marketing confuses self-care with self-soothing in its promotion of purchasing spa experiences, alcohol, and other consumer-oriented products that might relieve stress in the moment,” Teralyn Sell, Ph.D., a psychotherapist in Wisconsin told NBC News in February.

That’s now how it is with “You Feel Like Shit.” The guidance the survey offers can have long-lasting effects. The suggestions are also easy to do and don't require dropping hundreds of dollars on nouveau CBD pills or bath bombs from the nearest Bed Bath & Beyond. 

So the next time you’re feeling a little stressed, anxious, or otherwise not-awesome, consider taking a shower, having a glass of water, or doing some stream of conscious writing. That might seem ridiculously simple, but you know what? They also might just work. Did we mention it’s free?

LARA MCCAFFREY IS A CALIFORNIA-BASED WRITER WITH BYLINES IN PSYCHOLOGY TODAY, SAN DIEGO CITYBEAT, OUT THERE PODCAST, AND MORE. WHEN SHE'S NOT WRITING, SHE ENJOYS ANXIETY CLEANING HER APARTMENT.

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