How to Throw a Zoom Party

Weird ways to stay virtually connected in this strange, new world. 

By Erin K Barnes

Spin the bottle. Backyard barbecues. Hot tub parties. Sharing a giant bowl of ice cream. Happy hour. Body shots. Pool parties. 

Thanks to the coronavirus pandemic currently sweeping the globe, all of these delightful pastimes are now cancelled as f*ck — at least for the time being. As we grapple with this surreal new world, balancing our anxious news appetites with desperate needs to cleanse our brains, we can’t even rely on our old drinking buddies for a laugh or a reminder that everything’s going to be okay. That is, until….Zoom.

Zoom is a video conference platform that makes it easy to converse with and see multiple people at the same time. It’s so easy to use that even the most digitally inept among us can click a link and instantly recreate a version of our old lives while maintaining social distance. 

In the past month, Zoom has seen a 535% increase in traffic due to the massive shifts coronavirus quarantines have wreaked on our lives. Now, instead of things in real life, people do them virtually.

Other platforms to party it up in your PJs include those used primarily for video chatting, like Google Hangouts, FaceTime, Skype, or Marco Polo.

Social networks like Discord, HouseParty, and Twitch also have video chatting capabilities, as do secure texting services, such as Signal or What’s App.

Even websites primarily used for solo endeavors, like Netflix, are adding social video elements, like Netflix Party.

But between all these options, Zoom might be the easiest to navigate for virtual hangouts, especially for newbs. Sign up for a free account, or if your friend invites you, you don’t even need an account, just a link. 

Keep in mind that Elon Musk recently banned the use of Zoom for SpaceX, his rocket ship company, due to privacy concerns after the platform experienced a slew of hackers. However, if you’re not discussing technology that’s deemed “vital to national security,” and you password protect your meeting, you’re probably fine.

From virtual dinner parties to book clubs to keeping a tryst alive, there are myriad ways to use Zoom for your daily activities— if you’re willing to step outside of your comfort zone and talk to your computer screen. And let’s face it, stepping outside of anywhere is kind of refreshing these days. 

Here’s a guide to all the ways you can party with others like it’s 2020 — without actually leaving your house.

Host a happy hour

If you’re new to having virtual parties, the best way to start is with either a one-on-one coffee date or a happy hour with a couple of friends on Zoom. This will gently introduce you to the uncanny weirdness of transitioning from IRL friendships to virtual ones. Just keep in mind that if you have more than eight guests, or want to chat for more than 40 minutes, you’ll need to upgrade to a paid account. 

There’s a learning curve to using Zoom. (Flickr/aehdeschaine)

When using Zoom, you might also need to slightly alter how you talk with friends that you’ve been in a conversational groove with for years.

Whether there are three friends present or 17, you’ll all be on the same conversation, which might make you feel more on the spot than usual because it’s not like you can duck into a corner and start a side conversation with someone else.

(Well, actually you can do that, too. Zoom offers Breakout Rooms if you want to temporarily leave the group and talk one-on-one with somebody.)

And yes, using Zoom to connect with friends might also feel a bit formal at first, similar to a work function with drinks. Stick with it though and it’s pretty easy to forget that you’re relating through screens — and the good news is that the booze still works exactly the same. 

“This weekend I did my first virtual hangouts and saw friends we rarely get to see for happy hours,” Alyson Shontell, the editor-in-chief of Business Insider, recently tweeted. “I can also confirm that virtual beer pong is possible, you just need 4 phones and Facetime — one on each couple, one on each set of cups.”

Have dinner parties

Stockpiling food, the domestic life, and stress are all factors that can make even the dieters among us want to take a walk on the culinary side. A slew of quarantine cooking clubs have popped up on Facebook in recent weeks, showcasing food porn that is both comforting and resourceful, and often made with canned goods. 

But if Facebook groups aren’t enough interaction for you, and with holidays like Easter coming up, consider having a virtual dinner party with your close friends and family. 

Allison Stepnitz, a Denver resident with experience living in remote places, is a wealth of knowledge when it comes to virtual connections. 

“When I lived in Alaska, we had Thanksgiving up there once without my family,” she told OK Whatever. “We spent the whole day cooking on camera together and then eating. The trick is to make sure you're close enough to the mic and to mute your mic if you're making lots of cooking sounds that disrupt the conversation.” 

Everyone can make the same recipe together, or you can compare feasts. 

To bring your virtual dinner party to bizarrely futuristic levels — or if you run out of things to talk about —  make your Alexa tell jokes for the other dinner guests...you might even activate someone else’s Alexa.

Throw parties

At first, it might seem like a buzzkill to gather with 20 other talking heads on computer screens. Then quarantine sets in, and you creep closer and closer to morphing into a real life Jack Torrance (you know, from The Shining). At this point, you should probably get on Zoom and organize a virtual party. 

They can actually be a lot of fun. Consider the fact that with a Zoom party, you can invite your best friend from first grade, the buddy who lives in a different time zone, your new editor on a different coast, a local eccentric, and Bill Murray all at once. 

Adjusting to all of these people at once can be a bit overwhelming. Contrary to IRL parties where people can lurk in corners if they’re feeling shy, everyone feels kind of on-the-spot (even though guests can choose to black out their screens or mute their microphones). 

The key is to keep the conversation interesting for all by playing games or asking people to introduce themselves. The formality of the introduction tends to, ironically, make party guests giddy and giggly. Guests can text-chat individuals or the entire group, so if they reference a movie, they can include it in the group chat. 

With Zoom, you can also change your background to a tropical scene or a photo of your own, so that your fellow party guests won’t even know if you’re lying in bed. You can even record the whole party and watch it again if you want, but that’s kind of creepy. 

If you’re the type of person who needs an ice breaker at parties, consider games. There’s the free HouseParty app that allows you to video chat and play games with up to seven friends at one time. You can also try the virtual Cards Against Humanity game or any of the “party boxes” by Jackbox Games, which range in focus from horror-themed trivia to writing jokes to drawing emojis.

To play Jackbox Games with a group, someone must first purchase the games on their computer. Then, connect with others via Zoom and share your screen with them, showing the Jackbox interface. Everyone will each use their own phone to log in and input answers. 

Boogie down with others 

With dance clubs shuttered, many DJs are turning to live streaming services like Twitch to cast their DJ sets. 

“Twitch started out primarily for people to stream themselves playing video games, but the platform has since exploded into covering nearly everything imaginable,” Twitch user Jon Bielecki, who streams under the name StellarKoala, told OK Whatever. 

“People stream themselves making music/art, fitness training, recording podcasts/talk shows, ASMR, computer programming, dancing, playing Dungeons & Dragons, and ‘Just Chatting,’ which is one of the largest categories on the site.”

The DJs behind Lipgloss, an indie dance night in Denver, have been particularly dedicated to throwing Zoom dance parties ever since the pandemic began. They now throw dystopian dance parties out of their basement called “Pandemic Response Team,” advertising them with marketing materials that lean into the cautionary nature of our times. 

Whereas Zoom shows everyone your unkempt quarantine-styled look, a Twitch dance party offers more anonymity because it only shows the DJ. Of course, not seeing the other guests can be a downside if you were hoping to see your friends’ faces. That’s why it can be a great combo to have a Zoom party on one screen, and Twitch open in another. 

Insider tip: If your Zoom party crashes a Twitch channel, give everyone the same rallying cry to post in the group chat when they get there. It’s called a raid (here’s an example of a raid in progress). 

The group chat on Twitch can be an interesting place in the later hours of a dance party, as denizens of the web proceed to get real-life drunk for the virtual party. If the DJ explicitly invites it, people can even make requests, which will then be accepted or shot down for all to see. Most DJs ask for a suggested donation via Venmo, so please pay the DJ!

Do film screenings

While virtual watch parties may lack the coziness of snuggling on the couch and sharing popcorn, they’re a fun way to behold the latest episode of Netflix’s Tiger King with someone other than yourself. 

The Toronto Film Festival is even considering going digital for their September event, or at least planning for both virtual and in-person. Imagine gaining access to the latest advance screener in your footie pajamas.

The best options for watch parties are Zoom, Google Hangouts, or any live video platform that allows everyone to share audio and for one person to share their screen with everyone. 

Netflix Party is a Google Chrome extension that allows everyone to watch a movie at the same time.If someone pauses to go to the bathroom, everyone’s taking a potty break. The extension is free but everyone has to have Netflix and have the Netflix Party extension installed in their browser. Netflix Party doesn’t feature video chat alongside the movie viewing, so it doesn’t matter if you’re not wearing pants; you can still IM with your buddies. 

Stepnitz recommends using headphones for simultaneous viewings with video. It keeps the channels clear of echoes. 

Bond over books 

Love reading but can’t get yourself to actually pick up a book, let alone finish one? Then join a virtual book club. Those who need social pressure to get through a chapter can now find it with ease by tuning into weekly podcasts on Soundcloud or by attending Zoom chats with published authors. 

There’s even a Silent Reading Club, which has chapters around the world, where, for two hours, you log into Zoom and read whatever you want, in silence, but also in the company of others.

Do sexy things...virtually 

With the standard recommendation being that everyone keep at least 6-feet away from others, good luck getting it on — unless you’re already spending your quarantine with a partner. 

If you’re weathering this storm alone, your hanky-panky options are pretty limited. You’ll either end up abstaining from sex altogether or you can choose to get intimately comfortable with having a screen between you and a partner. Fortunately, there are myriad technological options for keeping the fire lit that even the tech-averse can get used to.

If you’re feeling shy, Marco Polo is a great video chat option that lets you gaze into your lover’s bedroom eyes without the pressure of face-to-face interaction. Users record a video and then send it to their partner to respond on their own time. Marco Polo videos can be as long as you want them to be, and you can respond at your own convenience.

There are also plenty of dirty versions of Snapchat, like ZipaClip, where your erotic imagery disappears after 24 hours. Phone sex is making a comeback, too, and video conference sex is becoming increasingly popular as well, according to a recent episode of the podcast “Savage Lovecast.” 

In the episode, relationship and sex guru Dan Savage shared tips for those who feel shy with the sometimes performative nature of video sex. The trick, he said, is to find the kind of virtual sex that works for you. If you feel awkward letting someone watch you masturbate, try sexting or phone sex first.

Don’t get hung up on coming at the same time. This scenario happens often in the movies and porn, but it rarely happens in real life. The same is true for virtual sex. Don’t get hung up on climaxing in beautiful harmony together; just work on getting one person off at a time. 

If you’re freaked out about sharing your most intimate moments on the platform Elon Musk doesn’t trust with his industry secrets, try encrypted platforms like Signal or What’s App for your video chats. 

Need something to help you along? Explore the “weird, wonderful world” of teledildonics: social sex toys that let partners “feel” each other. 

Get in touch with your animal side 

If Zooming for fun feels a bit too robotic, we've got something more primitive for you. 

Rather than sitting around feeling helpless, or letting their stir craziness consume them, a couple of Denverites recently started a Facebook group called “Go Outside and Howl at 8 PM.” Maybe it was the pack mentality, or the release of doing something loud when the world has been so eerily quiet, but the group reached 200,000 followers in a couple of weeks (and now has close to 500,000). 

The premise is as simple as the group name implies: Every night, everyone in the group (which contains members from all over the world) goes outside and howls at 8 p.m. their time. The idea is to combat stress while also retaining a sense of unity with our community much like how people in Italy have been singing patriotic songs from balconies in recent weeks. 

Those who howl tend to share videos of their inhuman guttural cries to the Facebook group, as well as cute recordings of their kids howling like wolf cubs or howls they’ve dedicated specifically to causes or to deceased loved ones. Zoom has yet to be officially incorporated into the group, but it could very well be used as a tool to organize a massive group howl with people from all over. 

The group has received a surprising number of grouches who complain about it being a poor use of their time or energy, or that the howling is intrusive and breaks the peace. One member posted that the cops were called on them, but thankfully, they were not arrested. 

Those who howl, though, say it is a perfectly harmless way to stay sane and connected. In other words, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Or rather, until you’ve howled.

ERIN K. BARNES WON THE SCHOOL SPELLING BEE AND THE D.A.R.E. ESSAY CONTEST IN THE 6TH GRADE. SHE WAS VOTED "MOST UNIQUE" IN THE 7TH GRADE. AND THEN IT ALL WENT DOWNHILL FROM THERE.

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