Drinking Semen to Ward Off Coronavirus
Can consuming cum prevent you from getting COVID-19? One woman seems to think so.
By Jessie Schiewe
In the third shelf of her freezer, below the loaves of bread, vegan meat alternatives, and bags of vegetables, Tracy Kiss keeps an ice cube tray.
Instead of water, it’s filled with semen.
“Whilst the world is experiencing a stockpiling frenzy of toilet tissue, cleaning products, and hand sanitizers,” Kiss explained in a YouTube video posted on March 13, “with supermarkets and stores selling out and online retailers stocking products for as much as £500, extortionate prices knowing that people are so desperate to get their hands on them, I have found a free and alternative method. That is to stockpile semen.”
Kiss has been a proponent of using semen outside of the bedroom for some years now.
“The Surprising Health Benefits of Swallowing Semen”
A vegan bodybuilder and mother of two, the British “social influencer” first made headlines in 2015 when she rubbed “two donation’s worth” of semen onto her face as part of “a cooling, natural skin treatment to soothe sensitive skin.” From there, it was only a matter of time before she began drinking the stuff.
By November 2016, she was ready to share — and show — her secret with the world. In a vlog that has since been watched more than 2.1 million times, to date, a sports bra-clad Kiss explained why sperm is an overlooked superfood, before drinking a spoonful of spunk on camera.
“That is surprisingly salty,” she remarked, mashing her lips together. “It has a kind of tang to it that goes to the back of the mouth. It really soaks into the tongue.”
It’s likely this funky taste is why most people haven’t tried eating semen, despite its many purported health benefits and the fact that it can be produced for free by half the population. Kiss, who was single when she uploaded her 2016 semen drinking vlog, said she got her supply from a friend.
And, as her recent ice cube tray full of cum reveals, she’s apparently been stockpiling spunk ever since.
According to Kiss, when a man ejaculates, he can produce around one teaspoon of semen. For the tastiest results, she recommends consuming it within 24 hours. You can slurp it straight from the source or lengthen its shelf life by freezing it, like Kiss does.
“You can use frozen semen as ice cubes in a cold drink, added to a smoothie to disguise the flavor, or simply [lick it] as a frozen refreshment in place of an ice lolly,” she wrote.
Since semen has become part of her routine, Kiss has noticed her skin texture softening and fewer wrinkles on her face. But it can have other positive impacts on the body, too.
Rich in vitamin C, calcium, chlorine, vitamin B12, potassium, sodium, magnesium, and zinc, among other nutrients, semen can boost energy levels and serve as an additional protein source for vegans and vegetarians.
A natural mood elevator that contains endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin, semen can also function as a natural antidepressant and sleep aid.
There are also claims that eating cum can increase one’s intelligence and prevent the occurrence of a miscarriage in pregnant women.
And now, apparently, semen can help us ward off coronavirus by bolstering our immune systems.
“Semen is nature’s very own free and plentiful multivitamin, just like a mother’s breast milk is essential for her baby,” Kiss wrote in a recent blog post. “Think of it like our body’s own army of soldiers ready to defend you from the enemy. The bigger your army, the higher your chance of victory and ability to stay safe.”
Science has yet to weigh in on the semen-coronavirus connection, but as millions of people around the globe self-quarantine for what will likely be months, weirder things will likely be eaten.
And with Pornhub now offering free access to its Premium content, stockpiling semen should be easier than ever.
JESSIE SCHIEWE IS THE EDITOR OF OK WHATEVER. SHE BELIEVES IN MERMAIDS AND THRIFT SHOPS FOR EXERCISE.
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